Rite of Spring: Yellow Book, Yer All Wet
|I rarely, if ever, use the phone book. I look up numbers on the internet. I don't look at the yellow pages or at those display ads in the yellow pages. I am among those whom Bill Gates predicted has stopped using the paper yellow pages, and nearly all people under 50 will join me in the next 5 years, if they haven't already. |
Every Spring, a new phone book is delivered to the house. Yesterday was no different. It was dropped on my front door step, as always, in a loose plastic bag, open on one end. As always, I didn't spot it till the morning after (meaning, I spotted it this morning). As always, the loose plastic bag did not protect it from the overnight Spring rain. So, I have a brand new Yellow Book ("not the other book!") that I don't even want, and even if I did, it is 100% waterlogged and ruined. And, it seems to me, that once a phone book has been so thoroughly soaked, it isn't even recyclable, should I be so inclined to try. And I'm not. It'll sit in a deceptively heavy white trash bag, just like similarly saturated used kitty litter, only less useful.
Thanks for nothing, Yellow Book. Not that I really give a damn that my phone book is ruined, as I wasn't going to use it anyway. But thanks for leaving your trash on my doorstep, just so I can waste a trash bag on it to send it straight to the landfill. And thanks for charging thousands of dollars to all of those fools who buy display ads in your book, just so you can deliver those books all half-assed so they get ruined in the rain. You really should get together with the fine folks at the AARP, and make phone books something that AARP members receive, and leave the rest of us out of it.