Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Suspended Animation

I started The Audient Files three years ago this month. Blogging has brought me much joy and satisfaction. I've met wonderful people, not the least of whom is Gina. I've reconnected with old friends. I've expressed myself in short and at length for not only myself, but also for anyone interested in reading. In light of all that, why would I stop?

But . . .

There are some other things I want to focus on now. Things that require that my attention be less divided. Once I have addressed those things, perhaps I may be back. It might be a few weeks or a few months, but it might be longer. It is also possible that I might not ever look back.

But until that time that I want to pick up blogging again, the archives are archived away, and new posts will not be forthcoming any time soon. The archives are stashed away because I don't really want to leave a large graveyard to attract visitors. Those of you still writing your blogs, I intend to read them, I intend to comment now and then. As you can see, I've changed up my template a bit, but my list of various blogs I enjoy is still off to the right, largely unchanged -- this is somewhat for my own convenience, but also for those of you who visit here to run through those links.

2/3/09 -- Archives are back up!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Jet Jaguar

Mike Carrel's got a new band, Jet Jaguar, and they play their first gig this Saturday at the Full Force Rock Shop in Seven Hills.
The band has worked up about 55 cover songs, some of them are listed here.  Jet Jaguar is a five piece guitar rock band, featuring a selection of modern/extreme rock songs.
The Full Force Rock Shop is located at 7835 Broadview Road between Pleasant Valley and Sprague Roads on the east side of Broadview in Seven Hills.
Show starts at 9pm.  Hope to see you there!

3 Day Fundraiser for a Cure for Breast Cancer

Gina and I will be there this Friday.
Details HERE.

Tuesday Talkback

Do I hear sheep? Or just moans? And I'm talking back.

"Those three students who refused to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance should be sent to China for a year to go to school. I guarantee they'd stand on their heads if they were requested to do so." - Parma Heights

Yes, let's intimidate the youth into saluting the flag, because that pledge will be made with such sincerity. While we're at it, let's make the little bastards pray, and if they refuse, we'll send them to Iran.

"The people who pay for their groceries with food stamps while they are talking on their very expensive cell phones." - Valley View

Hasn't the mobile phone long ceased being a luxury item? There are plenty of mobile phone plans that are cheaper than a land line.

"The stupid people who let their small children loose at the buffet table. Please read the signs. They handle the silverware and all the food and leave a mess. It's disgusting." - Cleveland

Oh, because the buffet wasn't disgusting till those kids came along, right.

"Re: the person complaining about shopping carts in parking lots. The stores give the handicapped a place to park close up, but they don't give us a place to put our carts close up. If I could walk to replace the cart, I wouldn't need a close-up parking place!" - Olmsted Falls

I'm at a bit of a loss here. Somehow you manage to get around inside the grocery store, up and down all of those long aisles, but you can't push a cart 30 feet to return it when you are done with it? And I notice that many larger stores have special carts you can ride so you don't have to push them -- and I assume that these aren't the carts being left out in the lot. Is it possible that you used every last bit of energy walking around the store that, by the time you get back to your car, you just didn't have enough energy left to return the cart? Or is it possible that you have developed such a sense of entitlement that you feel that the rules the rest of us live by simply don't apply to you?

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Monday, May 19, 2008

See You Later, Loan Shark

Good. Fuck 'em.
Because a new state law capping the payday loans APR to 28% just ain't worth knee-capping the working poor over.
Check Into Cash said the closure of the 93 centers will result in a loss of jobs for some 220 employees and the abandonment of 143,000 square feet of retail and office space. Though it plans to cease payday lending in the state, Check into Cash said it's "exploring other short-term credit products and loan alternatives in hopes of being able to continue offering some type of viable product and service to its customers."
Coming to a back alley near you?


The other day at Johnny's on Fulton, I had maybe the best bloody mary I'd ever had.
The bartender revealed that the mix they were using was something made locally. 
HOT D -- which is supposed to stand for "Hair Of The Dog."

No HFCS as it is sweetened with honey, and it has a little taurine and caffeine in it. 
I see one can order it online, but I understand it is sold at West Side Market as well. 

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Rite of Spring: Yellow Book, Yer All Wet

I rarely, if ever, use the phone book. I look up numbers on the internet. I don't look at the yellow pages or at those display ads in the yellow pages. I am among those whom Bill Gates predicted has stopped using the paper yellow pages, and nearly all people under 50 will join me in the next 5 years, if they haven't already.

Every Spring, a new phone book is delivered to the house. Yesterday was no different. It was dropped on my front door step, as always, in a loose plastic bag, open on one end. As always, I didn't spot it till the morning after (meaning, I spotted it this morning). As always, the loose plastic bag did not protect it from the overnight Spring rain. So, I have a brand new Yellow Book ("not the other book!") that I don't even want, and even if I did, it is 100% waterlogged and ruined. And, it seems to me, that once a phone book has been so thoroughly soaked, it isn't even recyclable, should I be so inclined to try. And I'm not. It'll sit in a deceptively heavy white trash bag, just like similarly saturated used kitty litter, only less useful.

Thanks for nothing, Yellow Book. Not that I really give a damn that my phone book is ruined, as I wasn't going to use it anyway. But thanks for leaving your trash on my doorstep, just so I can waste a trash bag on it to send it straight to the landfill. And thanks for charging thousands of dollars to all of those fools who buy display ads in your book, just so you can deliver those books all half-assed so they get ruined in the rain. You really should get together with the fine folks at the AARP, and make phone books something that AARP members receive, and leave the rest of us out of it.

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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Dann Still Hangin' On

Nevermind, he is still here.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Dann Done

It looks like Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann's resignation is imminent.

While he has admitted to an affair with a subordinate, has had a sexual harassment scandal occur among his senior staff and their subordinates, and he has admitted to not being equipped to handle the job of AG, it is not clear to me that anything that Dann has done is actually impeachable, despite the threat to seek his impeach delivered by letter -- a letter signed by Governor Strickland, Ohio Democratic Party Chairman Chris Redfern, and Senator Sherrod Brown, among others.
Still, if for no other reason but his admission that he was not up to the job when he was elected, I am glad to see him go.  The other stuff is disgraceful, and there is probably more to come, maybe impeachable stuff, too.  But when he said he wasn't as well prepared as he should have been when he was elected -- then why the hell did you run, sir? 

Tuesday Talkback

Those squirrelly moaners...
"For all the thoughtless motorists who intentionally disregard squirrel-crossing signs: Wake up! It's not like communities can afford tunnels under the road." - Cleveland Heights
I can't say I've ever even seen a squirrel-crossing sign, let alone ever taken the opportunity to disregard (or obey) one.  Has anyone ever seen one?  And if you have, any idea whether it was an official sign or a sign put up privately?  That is, if you Google "squirrel crossing sign," you'll find all sorts of signs you can purchase for the squirrel enthusiast you know.  
So, is this moaner a squirrel lover who bought a sign, nailed it on a pole in front of her house, and is mad that people aren't -- I don't know -- slamming on their brakes and jamming up traffic just in case a squirrel should happen to dart out into the street?  And if any governmental authority has ever erected a squirrel crossing sign, what criteria compelled that installation at that particular spot?  This moaner seems to think, or at least suggest, that a community might even consider, but for the cost, the idea of building tunnels for squirrels to safely cross.  Really? 
If anyone has ever seen a squirrel crossing sign, in Cleveland Heights or anywhere else, please let me know where you've seen it. 
If anyone has ever had a problem dodging or running over squirrels in a street, I'd like to know that too, and where you've had that occur.  In other words -- are there places where such signs arguably should be installed?  No one should want to run over a squirrel, whether you are an animal lover or just don't want to wreck your tires.

Monday, May 12, 2008

This Thursday

Mr. Bebout reports that the Bodacious Tah-Tahs will have a breast cancer fundraiser this Thursday night.

Details HERE.

Friday, May 09, 2008

I Made The Daily Dish!

Andrew Sullivan's The Daily Dish was the first blog I ever read with regularity, and I still read it every day.
One of the more unusual features of his blog is that he does not allow for comments.  Instead, if you have a comment, you can email him, and if your comment intrigues him, he might post it himself.  He doesn't publish names, just comments.
So, yesterday Andrew wrote about he could never run for president, not just because he wasn't born here, but because he had just ordered three petite vanilla scones at Starbucks, and as such, "If that doesn't make [him] an elite snooty pansy-ass un-American commie terrorist-lover, what would?"
I know exactly the scones he means.  I've had my eye on those little scones for the last two weeks.  Every time I walk into Starbucks, there they are.  I think about them, and I pass on them, every time.
So, I was inspired to email him a comment, and he put it up, along with two others:  Mine is (obviously) the last of the three:

Petite Vanilla Scones

08 May 2008 08:05 pm

Man, they're good. A reader writes:

I have to say, as an upper-middle class liberal who has been known to enjoy the occasional latte or, even worse, cafe au lait, I'm a little sick of the abuse.  No, I don't watch NASCAR.  No, I am not a soccer mom/dad.  I just like my damn coffee with milk in it.  Is that so wrong?  Yes, my morning is made a little brighter by having some nice barista at the local coffee shop make that coffee for me.  I'm sorry that this makes me hate America.  But if you think I'm out of touch now, just try me WITHOUT my coffee.


I don't know if it makes you an elite snooty pansy-ass un-American commie terrorist-lover, but three vanilla petite scones?  Totally gay.

Not that there's anything wrong that. And another:

I was born in Erie, Pennsylvania, and I live in Cleveland, Ohio. Most of my family is blue collar, my dad was the president of his local union.

Every time I go to Starbucks, I've had my eye on those damn petite vanilla scones.  Please, how were they?  My elite snooty pansy-ass Obama-lovin' side of me wants to know.  The blue collar roots in me noticed there was a price break on three.

They're totally awesome: moist, sweet, crusty, the best pastry Starbucks has come up with. And I include the toffee almond bar.

Alright, my dad was president of his local teachers union, but still. 

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Not Worth 23 Cents to Me

No, I won't be lining up for a 23 cent pizza.   I bet they charge extra for the garlic dipping sauce -- which is the only way I could eat it anyway.
You can make just about anything taste good if you pour enough garlic flavored grease on it.
Last time I ate Papa John's pizza, I woke up in the middle of the night and, to put it delicately, I was in distress. 
Now, that might make for an amusing t-shirt. 

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

The Black Keys -- free show

The Black Keys are doing a free show tomorrow at The Beachland Tavern.
The show is at 8pm.  However, if you want to get in, you need to go down to Waterloo around 2pm to get a wristband.  They are only going to let in about 125 people to this, so if you want to see this show, you probably should get down there early tomorrow afternoon. 

Tuesday Talkback

The moaners are at it again, and I'm still talking back.

"Instead of 'men working,' shouldn't the politically correct sign say 'people working?' "- Collinwood Village

If you really want to be precise about it, it should say "five people standing around a hole in the pavement watching one person working inside the hole."

"When a sign is deceiving on an exit ramp, and proven over time that it is, something should be done about it right away." - Maple Heights

Why couldn't this moaner just say what they really meant? What sign? Deceiving, how? A deceiving sign on an exit ramp ....? So, maybe the sign says "exit" but instead you just get looped back onto the highway? "Proven over time that it is?" What kind of mushy thinking is this? How is "proven over time" different than "proven"? And if the sign is deceiving, why mention the "proven" thing at all? And finally, is something should be done, do something about it. Call the DOT. Call city council. Call your member of congress. No, I'll call Monday Moaning. You who gets tricked by signs.

"Men, if you have a huge gut and man boobs, please keep your shirts on! You look disgusting and should be cited for indecent exposure!" - Mentor

Since this moaner is from Mentor, I question whether the actual moan included the word "if." If it did, then I applaud the tact of the moaner who was really directing her moan at pretty much every adult male residing in her community.

"Why can't the Cleveland Indians' announcers shut their yaps for even one second? Usually, they're not even calling the plays or talking to the viewers; they're talking to each other. They need to save their small talk for when they go out for drinks or dinner. Guys, you're boring - give us a break and shut up." - Euclid

Baseball is a whole lot of standing around and waiting for something to happen. And until something happens, there is dead air to fill. It is the announcers' jobs to fill that dead air. Now, if you don't want to listen to the banter, the solution is easy: turn down the sound on your TV. If you are listening to the game on the radio, just turn it off, because again, the announcers aren't going to allow dead air. And if that bothers you, don't listen to the game. Read about it later, or catch the highlights in the news. The action of most games can be thoroughly summarized in under a minute. Granted, you lose that sense of anticipation and drama that you might feel as you wait for something to happen when you watch it in real time. Going to a baseball game is a little like going to the doctor. You get there, and you wait around forever, then something starts to happen, but then you just wait around some more. And then there's the drugs, and the prima donna personalities, and the illegible signatures. And by the time you finally get out of there, you wonder where the afternoon went. And you wonder how you spent so much money for what you got. And you wonder if anything can be done to pick up the pace. Yet, regardless, you'll be back.

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Friday, May 02, 2008

Esquire Times Two

Congratulations to James W. Bacher, Esq., for passing the Ohio bar!

Kat Fix

Kat switched her blog to private. Don't ask me why, I don't have an answer for you. However, for those of you going though Kat withdrawal, I have some exclusive pics for you.