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    Tuesday, October 30, 2007

    Tuesday Talkback

    The won't stop moaning! Spooky!

    "Whenever my wife and I go to the store or restaurant, we always are greeted by 'Hi, guys.' When did it be come OK to call a woman 'guy'?" - North Olmsted

    You should just be glad that they don't stare at your wife's beard or throw Bic shavers at her.

    "Attention all drivers: Please use your turn signals so that those behind, next to, in front of and to the side know what you plan on doing. Let's get back to being courteous. And now that it gets lighter later and dark earlier, turn on those car lights until after sunrise and before sundown. Thank you to those that try their best to be safe on the road." - Cleveland Heights

    I did what you suggested and last night I turned on my lights. This morning my battery is dead. Thanks for nothing.

    "Those people who see baseball as a metaphor for everything good about America along with Mom and apple pie - all baseball is is the apotheosis of American greed and the American love of tawdry spectacle. If Thomas Jefferson were alive today, do you really think he'd be sitting in a bleacher seat that he paid some Internet scalper $700 for, eating overpriced hot dogs and drinking warm beer?" - Parma

    Not at all. He'd be up in a loge.

    "Why do some clerks fail to look at you when you're paying for your groceries? Eye contact, people!" - Mayfield

    That wandering eye of yours -- it is easier to look away. Less revolting.

    "Mayor Jackson should contact the Amish to coach the inner-city families on family values: being self-sufficient and contributing to the betterment of their community. Nothing else seems to work with the dire situation." - North Ridgeville

    Maybe he could use them to solve the foreclosure crisis too, with a good old fashioned barn raising! Whatev.

    "They build this shopping center in Cleveland, for the Cleveland residents. What about the Cleveland residents who don't have the vehicles? There is no public transportation, except for one circulator that goes there. So it's going to be the suburbanites, basically, going to avoid the rush out there." - Cleveland

    No vehicle, huh? Well, what about the Cleveland residents who don't have any money? What are they supposed to do with a shopping center? Seriously, I am not sure who Steelyard Commons is for, either. You can barely see it from the highway. It is hard to figure out how to get to it. It isn't in a neighborhood -- unless you live in a steel mill. I've got a bad feeling that if you want to know what that place is going to look like in ten years -- take a ride out today to the Euclid Square Mall.

    "When is Time Warner Cable going to get the actors' lips and words to match? It's been like this for a few weeks now." - Brooklyn

    Try not drinking a 40 to take your meds.

    "Why do perfectly nice restaurants, such as Lemon Grass, install televisions in the dining room and completely ruin everybody's chances at having good conversations?" - Shaker Heights

    Perhaps whoever is taking you there to eat is telling you something about the quality of your conversation.

    "Some people at the office think it's OK to comment about what I am, or am not, eating. MYOB!" - Hinckley

    Chewing cud in your cubicle will do that.

    "The city of Cleveland can't afford to hire enough police to fight crime, but there always seems to be enough money to pitch in for flashy mega buildings that will be good for 'tourism.' " - Cleveland

    If you can't beat the crime, join it. Pick our pockets to build the convention center, and then bring on the tourists so our street criminals can mug them.

    "President Bush says the health insurance for children was too expensive, but he doesn't mind spending millions a day for private contractors in Iraq." - Olmsted Falls

    If Bush could find a way to line the pockets of his buddies with SCHIP, we'd get an SCHIP that would make the Medicare expansion look like a drop in the bucket. Follow the money.

    "The new Lake Erie Monsters hockey team bills itself as a Cleveland sports team. Why doesn't it do outreach in urban Cleveland neighborhoods? It would be a great opportunity to reach a new fan base and diversify hockey's image." - Cleveland

    The Monsters have been around about 5 minutes now? And we're already picking on them? Look, there is a simple reason why poor kids don't follow hockey, and it isn't a lack of outreach -- the equipment is expensive. Kids want to watch what they too can play. To play basketball, you need a ball. To play football, you need a ball. To play baseball, you can share gloves and bats -- if you didn't have your own glove, you could share with a kid on the other team. But to play hockey, everyone needs a stick, and everybody need skates (or roller blades). You can play outfield with your older brother's old beaten up glove. But old skates with dull blades or worn out wheels don't cut it. And on top of that, you need a place to play. As a kid, I played baseball in the park or in the street, football in the yard or in the street, and basketball anywhere you could hang a hoop. And a hoop, being ten feet off the ground, can be left outside all the time. It isn't underfoot or in the way when it isn't being used. Even when the city doesn't plow or salt your neighborhood till day three after the storm, you can't have pickup ice hockey in the street.

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    Comments on "Tuesday Talkback"


    Blogger melcarrel said ... (8:39 AM, October 30, 2007) : 

    Good talkback, although the barn raising idea sounds pretty good. Maybe I should try that.

    I noticed you're getting a little crazy with the labeling on your entries. I mean, do you really plan to talk about "cud" again in the near future?


    Blogger Audient said ... (9:11 AM, October 30, 2007) : 

    Maybe I want people who Google "cud" and "bearded lady" to find my blog.


    Anonymous Evil John said ... (9:29 AM, October 30, 2007) : 

    I originally got here searching for "utuian" and "tosheroon".

    Someone's keeping track of the Monday Moaners, right? So kind people can find them and give them the help they need?


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