Friday, September 28, 2007

Hall of Shame Hits New Low -- Announcing the 2008 Nominees

The 2008 nominees for the Rock Hall are in, and 5 of those 9 will be inducted:
Emerson Lake & Palmer
The Moody Blues
Jethro Tull
Peter Gabriel
I'm just kidding, of course.  None of the above nine were nominated.  They were all passed over again.
Here are the actual nominees for 2008:
John Mellencamp
The Beastie Boys
The Dave Clark Five
Donna Summer
Leonard Cohen
The Ventures
Afrika Bambaataa
The Rock Hall is a fucking joke.

Sycophant Savior

There is a new magazine cover with General Patraeus and the a label calling him "Sycophant Savior."

The article calls him "a political general of the worst kind," and that "he has broken faith with the soldiers he commands and the Army to which he has devoted his life. He has failed his country."

Should Rudy run an ad?  Should Bush call a press conference?  Should the senate take a vote to condemn this magazine cover now, too?

Would your answer be any different if the title of the magazine was "The American Conservative"?

Tomorrow Night

The carpet crawlers heed their callers:
"We've got to get in to get out
We've got to get in to get out."

Genesis -- tomorrow night at the Q.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Unduly Harsh, Isn't It?

PD columnist Phillip Morris criticizes the bleakness of the African-American garden among the cultural gardens along Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive.

I've noticed this garden before, and it is a bit spartan, but not more so than most of the others.

Most of the cultural gardens are, for lack of a better term, underdeveloped. Sure, some of them have a little landscaping or a statue or two, but most of them look unremarkable as you drive by. The Chinese garden is exceptional, but that is one of the few that comes to mind.

I think the who cultural garden concept has been, for the most part, neglected by the various ethnicities that are represented there. I'll admit, I don't know who exactly is responsible for each garden. But overall, I think they are underutilized. And for Mr. Morris to be critical of the African American garden, when it doesn't seem any more underappreciated than the rest of the gardens, seems a little harsh. Really, they all could use attention. It isn't as if there are all these lush gardens and then you get to the African American garden and it is barren. No, most of them are pretty underwhelming.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Whine about Wine

File this one under government limiting our rights yet again. 
Apparently, the state of Ohio is implementing a new law limiting mail order wine in Ohio. 
The new law bans direct shipping of wine to Ohio consumers by wineries that produce more than 150,000 gallons of wine per year (roughly 63,000 cases.)
You can thank Ohio's Wineries and their lobby for this. 
While I do enjoy a little Ohio wine now and then, it is a different experience than the wines I've gotten through the mail. 
What really sucks is, unlike the strip club law, this didn't get even a minute of public debate.  Apparently, this just was slipped into the state budget. 
But like the strip club law, it is just another example of the State of Ohio overreaching.  Of what state interest is it if I order a bottle of wine through the mail from a site like this one ?  Who am I hurting?  Am I really hurting Ohio wineries?  Tell me -- if I want a bottle of Pinot Noir from a midsized California winery -- one with a larger production than 63,000 cases per year -- but not so large that their wine is in my local store, am I going to buy an Ohio wine instead?  Of course not.  No Ohio winery has ever made a decent Pinot Noir that I've ever tasted.  Other wines, certainly, but not that.
Despite that, Ohio's wineries think protectionism will nurture their vineyards:
Donniella Winchell, executive director of the Ohio Wine Producers Association, which also pushed for the ban, said the bill protects Ohio's wine industry, allowing it to continue to grow.

"We viewed this somewhat as a jobs bill," she said.

When I read crap like that, I feel like I've had my last bottles of Debonne and Ferrante. 

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Open Letter to My Stalker

Earlier this year, I received at work two packages of books from book clubs (including the Military Book Club) and a couple of magazine subscriptions -- all unsolicited by me. When I contacted them, they all said the same thing -- that someone had placed the order in my name, either by mailing in a card, or on the internet (supplying an email address that was not mine). In all instances, these merchants were very cooperative and I was charged nothing. The book clubs sent prepaid boxes for the return of the books. The magazines quickly stopped.

They also went over some other information about how the orders were placed that gave me a pretty good idea of who may be responsible. But rather than pursuing the matter, I just let it drop.

Fast forward to today: I received a package from Crossings Book Club, which is affiliated with the previous book clubs, and is their Christian themed book club. I received three books on bible study and Christian spirtuality, and Nutrition for Dummies. I called once again and explained the situation. Once again, the account opened in my name has been credited and cancelled, costing me nothing but a five minute phone call. Someone mailed in a card with my name on it to place the order. The very helpful Crossings representative told me I could keep the books, give them away or donate them to a library, whatever I wanted. Minimal effort on my part to resolve the matter -- and again, an innocent merchant takes a hit due to someone else's childish stunt.

So, to my dear stalker, whatever problem you have with me -- instead of being a coward, stealing my identity to cause businesses to lose money with your fraudulent orders -- why don't you address me directly? Or better yet, just go away and stay away. If you are so happy with your life now, why are you hanging on to the resentment? And if you aren't happy with your life, doing these things isn't going to make things better.

Tuesday Talkback

A little moan, a little talkback.

“My moan is against all the people who say ‘Buy American cars.’ I would if they were built better, had a resale value like foreign cars and lasted as long. When the Big Three put out a product that is worth my money, I may buy one. If the unions would stop demanding such high pay scales the auto makers might have a chance. When was the last time you heard Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Hyundai, Kia, and the rest of them go on strike? It is your option to buy American, don’t tell me what to buy.” — No city

The timing of this moan is very interesting. We've seen the moans before, back and forth, about buying American. Only this time, the bit about striking was added.

My first thought was, I don't remember the last time any autoworkers went on strike. But later in the day yesterday, the UAW went on strike at GM plants. It is the first strike by autoworkers since 1976.

The workers at GM have been working without a contract since September 14, so anyone in the know about that might have seen this coming. I wasn't aware. But with thirty-plus years since the last strike, it would seem that recent history has shown that labor and management had developed a history of getting things done without an actual strike.

The tone of the moan places the blame on the workers. Interestingly, if the cars are poorly designed and poorly manufactured, somehow this is the fault of the autoworkers. And the companies themselves are excused for the product they are putting out because of the demands by the workers. The moaner suggests that if the workers made less money, this would somehow result in the improvement of the quality of American cars. And finally, the bit about the striking makes it sound as if strikes at American plants happen a lot more frequently than they actually do.

So it has been over thirty years since the last strike -- yet this showed up in Monday Moaning yesterday, the day the strike began. Did this moaner know last week that the strike would start yesterday? Is this just a coincidence? Did someone slip this one in at the last minute? I'll be curious to see how the PD covers the strike, especially if it drags out for a few weeks.

“Does anyone observe the speed limit anymore? I go about 2 to 5 miles above the speed limit and everyone passes me. My punishment is being tailgated. Get off my tail or pass me. I am not breaking the law and I am getting better gas mileage. Use your heads, people!” — Euclid

"I go about 2 to 5 miles above the speed limit ... I am not breaking the law."

Well, no, apparently you are. Such as the speed limits laws are, you are breaking them. Like most of us do from time to time, to varying degrees.

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Monday, September 24, 2007

The Thing Living in the Garage

The thing living in the garage has now been elevated to semi-newsworthiness, it would seem.
Click HERE, read title, then scroll down.

Decay and Amusement, Part Two

When I wrote about lost amusement parks earlier this month, I had no idea that Geauga Lake would be next to go.  But the ax has fallen.
Cedar Fair, which owns and run Cedar Point, bought Geauga Lake from Six Flags in 2004 and restored the name "Geauga Lake."  But apart from that, I hardly saw the place marketed.  And I can't help but wonder if it wasn't Cedar Fair's plan all along, to run it for a a couple of seasons and then shut it down, citing that it isn't profitable. 
Oh, they aren't shutting it down completely -- they are keeping the water park open.  And dismantling the rest of it.  Whatev.  They are shutting it down.
I'll admit, I didn't go to Geauga Lake every season -- but I haven't been to Cedar Point in over 10 years, and I don't see that changing any time soon. 
Is there outrage over the decision?  Or has time left it behind?  It would seem that the time for these smaller parks has come and gone.  I really want to get back to Waldameer next summer.  Of all the parks I went to as a child, that seems to be the only one left now, and I haven't gone in years and years.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Loyal, Like a Dog

A man I used to work for once told me that the problem with my generation is that we have no loyalty.  I sat and listened, while he spoke of his children, who were roughly my age, and how they were never loyal to their employers, and how they were self-centered, selfish even.  Yet, from what I knew about his kids, they stood up for themselves, and had a fairly low tolerance for bullshit.  Interesting how he considered this a bad thing.

Gina brought this up the other day, in the context of letters of recommendation.  That when a superior writes a letter for a (usually former) subordinate, that even if the superior thinks that he is being complimentary by describing that person as "loyal," isn't that really faint praise, or even a mild insult?  Certainly when you work for a company, you have certain obligations, duties, and responsibilities to keep.  To call someone conscientious of those obligations, duties, and responsibilities, that seems like a positive descriptor.  To call someone loyal sounds like you can shit all over them, and they just keep taking it.  Like a dog.  You train him, you tie him up in the backyard, you feed him meat unfit for human consumption, you snip his balls off, and in return, he licks your hand and is loyal.  Yeah, he's loyal.  Good dog.  No thanks. 

Thursday, September 20, 2007

O.J. Fatigue

Not to take joy in the misfortune of others, but like many people, I am intrigued by the possibility that O.J. Simpson might actually serve some prison time. That said, I am already tired of all of the coverage. I don't need to hear the audio of the incident, or see the video of his bail hearing, or hear the analysts who think that a show trial could yield a $50 million windfall for the city of Las Vegas. And I really don't need to see gavel to gavel coverage of his trial, but we probably will have to shut off our TVs, radios and internets to avoid it. Just let me know how it turned out when it is all over, ok? Show us more footage of trainwrecked Tanya Harding Britney Spears or something.

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Tuesday Talkback

The moaning is back, and so is talkback.

“Why doesn’t someone on the food channel tell Rachael Ray to tie her hair back? She has brushed her hair back with her hand and put it right back in the food. Disgusting.” — No city

When Rachael Ray cooks on TV, she is not cooking food for you to eat. She is not working in a restaurant. The dish she is preparing is not being served to customers. And even if it were, she can touch my food all she wants. So, no, the Food Network is not going to dress her in some institutional outfit with a hairnet like she is working in a cafeteria. Of course, she should cover up so she doesn't risk an unfortunate and nasty burn. I hope that hot fudge isn't too, um, hot.

“What is this new fad, the fire pit? Can’t have the windows open because they pollute the air until the early morning. Incinerators were outlawed and so should the fire pit.” — Parma

That new fad, fire -- goes with the other new fad, the wheel.

“Does anyone remember when public officials used to run for office to serve us? They now, piece by piece, serve us on platters.” — Cleveland

No, we don't. Does anyone remember a time when old farts didn't wax nostalgic for good ol' days that never were? Newsflash: in the past, people caught polio, women couldn't vote, and black people were property. Those are NOT good ol' days. As for your platter thing, I don't know what you're trying to say. Did I miss a story about the government's new Soylent Green initiative?

“What is with the disgusting parents who are discarding used diapers in parking lots? The morning after our church’s Saturday night festival, we got out of our car for Sunday Mass and found a dirty diaper dumped in the lot. Two weekends later, we attended the Cleveland air show and came back to our car and found another dirty diaper tossed on the ground. If you can’t bother taking these disgusting carriers of urine and feces to a trash can, take them home with you and dispose of them there! With parents like these, it’s no wonder so many children have total disregard for this planet and the other people on it!” — Parma Heights.

Just two weeks ago, someone was moaning about kids who go without diapers (and use the treelawn), and now we have this moan. Look for it, these are the first of several moans on the subject, just like the series on tipping and loud pipes on motorcycles. As for all of these disposable diapers, when the alien archaeologists come and excavate our landfills, we can only imagine what they'll think of our propensity to preserve shit in little packages and entomb it for all time.

“I found it to be extremely low of the owner of Cleats in Strongsville to talk to me like I was one of his flunkies when I was just trying to give him a tip for a new location. Way to go, idiot. You’ll never see a dime of my money spent in your establishment again.” — Middleburg Heights

Small business owners are constantly hit with "suggestions" for how to better run their business. You may think you are being helpful. But really, what makes you think you know better than him how to expand his business? A little presumptuous of you, don't you think? I suspect he didn't ask you for your advice of where he should open his next store. And that isn't to say that these guys don't want some feedback, especially if there has been a lapse in service or something. But you offer unsolicited advice about where to open another store, and when he doesn't fawn over you and your "brilliant" idea, you decide you can go eat wings and beer somewhere else. Well, there is a nice wing joint over in Brooklyn that I could recommend, but the owner seems like a nice fellow, and I wouldn't want to turn you loose on him.

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Monday, September 17, 2007


If anyone had offered me thousand to one odds -- that all I had to do was bet one dollar to win possibly a thousand dollars -- that either Derek Anderson would throw 5 touchdown passes or that the Browns would score over 50 points and beat Cincinnati -- I'd have laughed and kept that dollar in my pocket.
Likewise, if the bet were that Carson Palmer would throw 6 touchdown passes and his team would still lose the game.


Friday, September 14, 2007

Delusional, Worn Out, and Fooling Himself

I listened to President Bush's speech last night about Iraq.  I don't have the inclination to deconstruct it all here.  But as I listened to it, I wondered, who is he trying to kid?  Does he even believe what he is saying?  If he does, he is deluded. 
He has made a mess he cannot fix, and he is determined to pass this bag of flaming shit onto the doorstep of the next president. 
He looked and sounded pathetic and weak.  He has ceded his role of commander in chief to whatever Patraeus says he should do.  And he claims success for the surge where there is little or none that has to do with the surge, for that which has improved in Iraq has nothing to do with the surge.  He says we are bringing troops home due to "success" when really, we are bringing troops home regardless because we have no more to send.   We cannot sustain the presence we've got there with the troops we presently have, no matter how it is going over there.
But the thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was the email he read from the parents of a dead soldier, who thought their son's death was not in vain because this is a battle between "good and evil" and that "freedom is not free."  Nevermind the simplistic worldview of these parents -- is this the worldview of this president?  That this is a black and white, good versus evil situation?  In which case -- that sheik that was assassinated yesterday, the one who flipped from al-Qaida to our side -- was he good or evil?  Before he flipped, he helped kill Americans.  So which is he?  Good or evil?  Mr. President, this is not like a trade in baseball where Sammy Sosa wears a Rangers jersey one season and a Cubs jersey the next.  Whether this president believes this situation can be so defined, or wants us to believe that, either way, it is a shallow and complete misunderstanding of the complexity of the sectarian and factionalized strife in Iraq -- strife that we unleased through our total bungling of the post-invasion.
As for "freedom is not free" -- thanks for the bumper sticker philosophizing.  What's next?  Freedom is not dumb?  

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Fwd: Steelers vs. Bengals

Check out the subject line. BRILLIANT!

It is about time a real NFL game was played in Cleveland.

Aw, who cares who is playing? The Club is serving Amish Free Range Chicken with Cannelloni Bean and Chorizo Cassoulet!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Cleveland Browns <>
Date: Sep 13, 2007 5:37 PM
Subject: Steelers vs. Bengals

To view this email through your web browser, please click here.
Cleveland Browns ePlaybook Instant Update

Sunday, September 16, 2007 - 1:00 PM


Gameday News & Notes

Season ticket holders - here is everything you'll need to know before you head to Cleveland Browns Stadium to see the Browns take on the visiting Cincinnati Bengals.

Parking & Transportation:


Cleveland Browns Stadium is located in Downtown Cleveland, North of Lakeside Avenue, on 100 Alfred Lerner Way, between West 3rd Street and East 9th Street.

If you are approaching the Stadium:

From the South:

Take I-71 North (or I-77 North) to the East 9th Street Exit. Take East 9th Street (North) to Erieside Avenue. The Stadium will be on the left as you head North.

From the West:

Take Route 2 East to the West 6th Street/Lakeside Avenue Exit. The Stadium will be on your left as you head East.


Take I-90 East to the 2 West (Lakewood) Exit to the East 9th Street or West 3rd Street Exits. The stadium will be on the right as you head west.

From the East:

Take I-90 West to 2 West to the East 9th Street or West 3rd Street Exits. The stadium will be on the right as you head west.


The following Ampco Parking Lots surrounding the Stadium will open be open for Public and Pass holder parking beginning at 6:00 AM:

- The North Port Authority Parking Lot (Yellow Lot)
- The West 3rd Street Parking Lot (Orange Lot)
- Dock 20 (Blue Lot)
- Dock 32
- Great Lakes Science Center Parking Garage

Any available cash spots in these lots will be sold for $20. Parking is sold on a first come first serve basis.

Browns Game Day Additional Parking Information - City Lots:

No Reserved Parking-Parking is on a first come first serve basis.

- Municipal Parking Lot
1500 South Marginal Rd.
Rate $15.00 per space open at 4:00am
2000 spaces.
Tail gating Allowed
Port-a-Johns onsite
No Overnight Parking
Parking is Limited
Parking is available for Buses and RVs.
Contact Ampco System Parking @ 216-621-6600 for additional Bus and RV Parking.

- Willard Park Garage and Surface Lot
601 Lakeside Ave-Rate $15.00
Contact- 216-664-2711
1,500 spaces
No Bus or RV parking
No Tail gating
No Overnight Parking-No Public Restrooms. 216-664-6121.

- Convention Center Garage
500 Lakeside Ave.
Rate $15.00
Contact-216-664-2711-300 spaces
No Tail gating allowed
No Bus or RV parking
No Overnight Parking-No Public restrooms.

- Canal Basin
1519 Merwin Ave Lot-Rate $5.00
Contact 216-664-2711
No Bus or RV parking
Tail gating Allowed
No Public Restrooms
No Overnight Parking
228 spaces

Handicapped Parking

A limited amount of Handicapped / ADA parking is available in the West 3rd Street Parking Lot on a first come first serve basis. For the convenience of our handicapped guests, Cleveland Browns Stadium offers (2) handicapped drop off locations at the Southeast and Southwest corners of the stadium.


RTA Services

Score a touchdown, save on gas: Ride RTA to Browns Stadium

RTA offers more than 7,000 free parking spaces at rail stations and park-and-ride lots throughout Cuyahoga County. Fans are urged to purchase a $3.50 All-Day Pass, which includes unlimited ridership. All-Day Passes are available from every RTA farebox.

Football Flyer service

RTA offers non-stop bus service from six sites to all Browns home games. Football Flyer buses leave 1.5 hours before game time. Buses at the Solon site leave 1.75 hours before the game. After the game, fans can board the bus near the Stadium and return home. Adult one-way cash fare is $2.50 no tickets or passes will be accepted.

RTA will operate these routes to all pre-season and regular season home games.

- #920 Parmatown Transit Center, 8555 Day Drive, near the Parmatown Mall.
- #941 Solon Square, 33000 Aurora Road (Rt. 43) at Solon Boulevard. Park in designated RTA area in the middle of the parking lot.
- #946 Westlake Park-N-Ride, 24800 Sperry Road, near the Columbia Road exit of I-90.
- #951 Strongsville Park-N-Ride, 9355 Pearl Road, at the entrance to the Ohio Turnpike.
- #975, North Olmsted Park-N-Ride, 5575 Great Northern Blvd. at I-480, southeast corner.
- #977, Brecksville Municipal Parking lot, 9021 Brecksville Road (Rt. 21), south of Royalton Road (Rt. 82).

Riding the rail

Ride any RTA rail line to Tower City. Riders on the Blue and Green lines can usually stay on the train to reach the Waterfront Line. Red Line riders can transfer to the Waterfront Line. More Rapid Transit info. Waterfront Line trains drop off riders at the West Third Street Station, across the street from the Browns Stadium. Extra service begins two hours before each game.

After the game, as you approach the West Third Street Station, you will be directed to stand in lines marked Green Line/Flats, Blue Line/Flats or Tower City Only, to designate which trains you need to reach your final destination.

If you need an elevator, enter the station building and use the elevator to reach the platform.

To travel east to the Municipal Parking Lot, walk down the stairs inside the station to the platform. RTA staff will direct you to the eastbound trains.

RTA supervisors and Transit Police will be at the West Third Street Station building and platform to help you. Please follow their directions. For more information on RTA, visit the automated trip planner, or call the RTAnswerline, 216-621-9500.

Game Day:

AT&T is the official sponsor of today's game. All fans in attendance received a Cleveland Browns flag, courtesy of AT&T. Remember to watch Browns interviews and press conferences through's "Sights and Sounds" media player - delivered by AT&T . Also, be sure to visit for other exclusive content.

Gates will open at 11:00 AM. Kickoff is scheduled for 1:00 PM.

Click here to read about Cleveland Browns Stadium Policies - including a listing of prohibited items. Cleveland Browns Stadium is a Smoke Free Facility, in compliance with Chapter 3794 of the Ohio Revised Code. Smoking is prohibited in all Stadium areas. Guests cannot exit and re-enter the building on the same ticket.


In conjunction with NFL security, fans entering the games will be screened for banned objects in two stages. First, there will be a bag and coat check, followed by a limited-body pat-down. Please plan on allowing extra time to enter, and we thank you for your patience and understanding.


Visit the Browns Gameday Fan Zone located on Alfred Lerner Way along the south side of Cleveland Browns Stadium. Enjoy live music as Punch the Clown takes you up to game time. Bring the kids to enjoy the inflatables, face painting, and concessions as well.

Join us two hours before kickoff in the Northern Enclosure - the official tailgate spot for ticketed patrons! The Northern Enclosure is located on the north side of the Stadium. WMMS will be broadcasting live.

At GridIron Square, the Browns Team Shop will be open to the public for those of you who need to stock up on your Browns gear before entering the game. The Team Shop will also be open for ticketed fans, from inside the concourse of the Stadium beginning at 11:00 AM.



Legends is a perfect place to meet friends before the game - doors open at 11:00 AM.


WTAM will be broadcasting live from the Grille beginning at 10:00 AM.


Sunday's pre-game entertainment will begin with unfurling of the new Cleveland Browns Spirit Flag. We are also honored to have the United States Coast Guard join us as we honor our country.


Sunday's National Anthem will be sung by female trio Chosen Fate.


Presenting Sunday's colors will be all five branches of the United States Coast Guard. We would like to thank all military personnel for their continued support and dedication to this country.


Halftime Presented By Chevy Network Dealers:

Halftime will be presented by Chevrolet - the Official Vehicles of the Cleveland Browns. Halftime entertainment will feature the 4th and 5th grade youth football team from St. Joseph's Falcon Football.

NOTE: Alcohol sales will cease at the end of the 3rd quarter in the concourses, Legends, the Grille and the Northern Enclosure.



Paul Rado will be broadcasting his post-game show live from Legends beginning at 4:00 PM.


Feel free to remain in your seats at the conclusion of the game to watch the Post-game Press Conference live.

Premium Seating:


For our Club Seat Holders; the club lounges will open the same times as our gate entrances, at 11:00 AM and will stay open for an hour after the game. Please see below to view the menu for this weeks club buffet expertly catered by Levy Restaurants:

In Season Salads

Baby Spinach with Apples, Pears and Walnuts

Multi-Grain Salad with Sun-Dried Fruits, Orange Cinnamon Dressing

Classic Caesar with Garlic Croutons

Cavatappi Pasta Salad with Fresh Mozzarella, Pine Nuts and Basil Pesto

Potato Salad with Buttermilk Dill Dressing

Creamy Coleslaw


Penne Pasta with Three Cheese Alfredo, Roasted Mushrooms, Asparagus and Tomatoes


Grilled Asparagus with Smithfield Ham, Caramelized Shallot Vinaigrette

Roasted Artichokes with Citrus Sauce

Four Cheese Au Gratin Potatoes

Parker House Pull Apart Rolls with Sweet Honey Butter


Cabernet Grilled New York Striploin

Amish Free Range Chicken with Cannelloni Bean and Chorizo Cassoulet

Scrambled Eggs

Smoked Bacon

Maple Sausage


Bread Pudding

Cookies and Brownies

Assorted Dessert Bars & Cakes

Seasonal Fresh Fruit Salad

Buffet is open until the end of the 1st quarter.

Stadium News:


Introducing the Browns Family Zone - a ticketed seating area with an emphasis on providing a family and kid-friendly environment. The Family Zone, located in sections 542 and 543 is a family-friendly, alcohol free area featuring mascots, kid's meals, special activities and more! Join the family today!


The Cleveland Browns Stadium staff and its Game Day Partners are dedicated to providing a safe and enjoyable game-day experience to all fans in attendance. Please be courteous and respectful to those seated around you and refrain from behavior that interferes with others' ability to enjoy the game. Game Day Staff members will strive to maintain a fan-friendly environment, free from the following behaviors:

- Using foul, inflammatory or socially unacceptable language or gestures.
- Throwing objects onto the field.
- Interfering with other fans' ability to enjoy the game.
- Wearing of obscene or indecent clothing.
- Entering the playing field or interfering with the progress of the game.
- Refusing to show your ticket stub when asked by a Stadium representative.
- Attempting to sit in seats for which you are not properly ticketed.
- Excessive standing - please be aware that when you stand, you block the view of the fans behind you. We do not wish to diminish your ability to cheer and enjoy the game, however, your continued standing can interfere with others' ability to enjoy the game from their seats.
- Smoking - In compliance with Chapter 3794 of the Ohio Revised Code, smoking is prohibited in Cleveland Browns Stadium.

Anyone in violation of these guidelines is subject to ejection, arrest and loss of ticket privileges for future games. If the behavior of a fan or fans around you becomes disruptive or violates the Fan Conduct Policy, the incident should be reported to the nearest Stadium representative. To report an incident anonymously, a call can be placed to the "Tip Line" at 440.824.6000.


Introduced at the start of the 2005 season, Legends, a restaurant and bar is located directly behind the Dawg Pound in the East end zone. The 13,000-square-foot space has been completely renovated to create an experience both convenient and enjoyable for all fans that choose to enter. Legends features 37 flat screen televisions and a full service concessions stand.

With its new additions, Legends is a perfect place for fans to meet friends before the game or take a break from the stands during the game. Legends can be accessed from the stadium's east ramps, stairs or elevator and will be open from 5:00 PM until the conclusion of the game.


Remember to take part in the Budweiser Good Sport Program. Fans, if you are a designated driver for your family or friends, or need a safe ride home, please sign up at the Budweiser Good Sport Designated Driver Booths or at any Guest Services location. You will have a chance to win a Cleveland Browns/Budweiser prize. Remember, friends don't let friends drive drunk. Designate a driver. "We all make a difference!"


We've added several new National City Bank ATM machines for your convenience. They are located on the concourses throughout the Stadium by sections 110, 129, 139, 148, 342, 515, 537 as well as the South Club near Section 311, the North Club near Section 328, in the new LEGENDS, and also in the Team Shop.


Fans wishing to bring their own banners can hang them in front of the ADA platforms or along the walking bridges, given there is room and they have been approved upon entering the Stadium.

Game Day Promotions:


Enter to win four tickets in the new Family Zone for a Cleveland Browns home game, courtesy of Pepsi! Pick up the specially marked Pepsi, Diet Pepsi and Dr. Pepper cans and enter to win today!


At every Browns regular season home game, one lucky winner will receive a Canon EOS Digital Rebel XTi camera kit, game tickets, and a sideline pass to Shoot Like A Pro. Visit for more details.


Log on to today and enter for a chance to win a Browns-themed 2007 Chevy Silverado!


Get to the game early and you'll automatically have a chance to be the Cleveland Browns early arrival winner. Each game, one lucky fan will win two round-trip tickets courtesy of Continental Airlines - the official airline of the Cleveland Browns.


When the Browns Score, You Save. Show us your ticket stub from any Browns home game after the Browns score and you'll receive coupon good for $10 off your next $50 purchase. Tickets must be redeemed within one week of the game. And remember, Every Season Starts at Dick's!


Be on the lookout during the game - you may sitting in the lucky row that will receive certificates good for a free Donatos signature pizza! Nothing goes better with football than great Donatos edge-to-edge pizza!


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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Decay and Amusement

I recently was in Youngstown again. I stopped by the old school to take a few last pictures before they tear it down this Fall. I'll post those later. But it got me wondering about other things I remembered about the city. Such as Idora Park.

Idora Park was an amusement park. It closed after the 1984 season. My one and only trip to Idora Park was during that final season. I seem to recall that we were told that we should check it out while we still could.

Prior to that final season, there was a fire at Idora Park, which burned down a couple of the rides, including part of Idora's main attraction, the Wildcat roller coaster. Idora had a second coaster, the Jack Rabbit, but this was not enough to sustain the park. While the wikipedia article on Idora Park doesn't get into it, I remember hearing back then that the insurance company wasn't going to pay to fix the damage because they thought it was arson and not an accident.

While Idora Park closed in 1984, much of it remained standing for years. Yesterday I found this website, by a couple of people who sneaked in and took pictures of the dilapidating structures. I also found this site, Illicit Ohio, featuring several SBNO (standing but not operating) amusement parks, as well as some rather adventuresome pictures of some other abandoned buildings and structures from around Ohio -- this photographer not above a little trespass to document the decay of the interiors of abandoned buildings. These pictures of the old hotel on South Marginal Road fascinated Gina and me. And while Idora Park's remaining structures were bulldozed over in 2001 (Illicit Ohio has pics from prior to that), it would appear that much of Chippewa Lake Park still stands, even though it closed after the 1978 season. Another site dedicated to defunct parks features a detailed report with photos from 1997. With the help of Mapquest, I figured out where the park is, and Gina and I are contemplating a little field trip of our own. There is something about how nature has taken over, the trees growing into and through the ferris wheel and roller coaster tracks -- the whole ghost town sense of it -- I just want to see it for myself.

All this made me check up on Conneaut Lake Park, another park I visited numerous times growing up. Conneaut Lake Park appears to still be an ongoing concern, but it also appears that the rides on the midway did not operate this season. A campaign there in 2006 to raise money to repair and save the train has no update as to its progress -- and I suspect it has stopped in its tracks. I have a bad feeling that Connie is slipping away too...

Finally, I stumbled across Olentangy Park. Once is was one of the largest amusement parks in the United States. Today, it would seem almost all traces of it are gone. The park failed after the Depression, the attractions were sold off or razed, and the land was redeveloped into an apartment complex. A rather pleasant one I might add. I remember seeing pictures in the leasing office of a ballroom and pavillion, but it didn't register with me then -- that our Columbus apartment is situated on the grounds of a once grand amusement park.

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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Tuesday Talkback

The PD did not upload this week's Monday Moaning to -- so no Talkback today.

So let's talk about those Browns.

So many things at play here. Why are other teams able to improve, but not our team?

Take Romeo Crennel and Phil Savage. They are both talented men. Maybe the Peter Principle has come into play. Romeo is talented, but not talented enough to be a head coach. Phil Savage is talented at evaluating talent, but not talented enough to be a general manager. They have both risen beyond their competence.

We cannot be surprised that no QB is ready to play. Throughout the preseason, Romeo refused to commit to any of them. No one got settled into the role. Everyone plays so ... tentatively. And when each snap, each possession might be your last, when you have no comfort in your position, how are you supposed to play confidently?

That said, think Charlie Frye has had his chance. At least here. I don't know what to make of Anderson -- for that one drive he looked good. The team actually looked like a football team.

And Brady Quinn can't really be ready to take over. Ideally he sits on the bench and watches for a few more weeks or the whole season. But this is not an ideal situation. Peyton Manning and Troy Aikman both started immediately. They lost a lot of games, but they learned as the starter. Ben Rothlisberger started almost immediately, and won a bunch of games. I do agree that once you put BQ in, there is no going back.

But the QB problem is a symptom of a much larger problem. The team has no experience at the top -- not the right kind of experience anyway. Romeo has five Super Bowl rings, but none as a head coach. Phil has copious experience as a scout and evaluator of talent, but there is so much more to managing a team than that. Even Randy Lerner is inexperienced as a team owner. We are flummoxed as to what to do with the Browns, and the problem is they are flummoxed too.

I am glad I sold my season tickets this year -- this would have been too painful to go down to the stadium and watch all season -- if Sunday's game is any indication. The Browns made the Steelers look much better than they really are. And the Steelers new coach, Mike Tomlin, and Romeo Crennel now share this statistic -- as head coaches they are tied in number of wins versus AFC North opponents. Tomlin has won one in one week as a head coach; Romeo has won one going into his third year as a head coach.

As for selling my tickets, I've been told that I am a fair weather fan. Yeah, I've gone to just about every home game since 1999, and NOW I am a fair weather fan. We haven't had any fair weather to be a fan of, and there is little sign that will change any time soon. This team is wandering in the desert, it has been since 1999, and arguably it has been since 1964. You have to be about 50 or older to have any memory of the Browns winning it all. I barely remember Brian Sipe, and the Browns of my youth were Kosar, Newsome, Brennan, Slaughter, Mack and those teams. Teenagers today know only about having no team, or this reconstituted team. Why would they root for them? Even the Arizona Cardinals have a brighter future today.

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Friday, September 07, 2007

The Larger Bowl (A Pantoum)

If we're so much the same like I always hear
Why such different fortunes and fates?
Some of us live in a cloud of fear
Some live behind iron gates

Why such different fortunes and fates?
Some are blessed and some are cursed
Some live behind iron gates
While others only see the worst

Some are blessed and some are cursed
The golden one or scarred from birth
While others only see the worst
Such a lot of pain on the earth

The golden one or scarred from birth
Somethings can never be changed
Such a lot of pain on this earth
It's somehow so badly arranged

Somethings can never be changed
Some reasons will never come clear
It's somehow so badly arranged
If we're so much the same like I always hear

Some are blessed and some are cursed
The golden one or scarred from birth
While others only see the worst
Such a lot of pain on the earth

-- Neil Peart

What is a Pantoum? Read about it HERE.

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LSAT Practice

For anyone who ever took the LSAT, or considered taking the LSAT, here is a delightful spoof LSAT question.
And if you have never seen an LSAT test, I'll tell you: there is a "games" section -- where all the questions are just like this (except for the subject matter.)

The Ride On In

It looks like a nice morning so I took the Saabcar and dropped the top.
As I approached Coventry, I saw Mark W at the light and we chitchatted a bit about how lovely the morning was.  The light changed and I went straight instead of turning and going to the new Phoenix on Coventry.
I got to Cedar Hill and decided to stop for coffee at Starbucks instead.  There was actually a spot on the side street next to Starbucks so I did not park in the bank parking lot.  I went in and got coffee -- no pastry, trying to not eat those routinely, even though I saw the maple scones under the glass.
I went outside and ... a Dairyman's truck was doubleparked in the street, blocking me in.  Blocking traffic generally, in fact.  Idiot.
Then Pat came along. And he got stuck in the traffic, so we chitchatted through his car window about the Rush concert, Brent's visit, how Gina is doing, etc.  The truck moved up a little and allowed Pat to get through -- but that still left me blocked in.
The Dairyman's truck driver appeared.  His sporty Dairyman's ballcap gave away that he was the truck driver.  I started yelling at him to move his truck.  He yelled back at me, blaming the woman parked in front of me for taking his space.  Really?  Even if this was somehow valid, this does not mean he can just double park his truck to make a milk delivery and block me in.  I laid into him, with too large a rant of obscenities for so early in the morning.  He acted like he wanted to fight -- then he pointed at my coffee cup and told me I should quit drinking that stuff, that it will kill me.  And I said not as fast as the fat and hormone laden shit he peddles off the back of that truck.  And then I pointed at the Starbucks store and said that if it weren't for places like this to make deliveries to, you wouldn't have a job, now move your truck.   
Fortunately, the woman who parallel parked behind me was able to back out, leaving me room to finally back out and then manuever around the truck.
WHY would a dairy delivery be made to a Starbucks WITHOUT ITS OWN PARKING LOT at 8 in the morning anyway? 
Knew I shoulda gone to Phoenix on Coventry this morning.
So, in an effort to brighten my day, I rode through the cultural gardens even though it is a less direct way to work.  This then means that I have to jump on the east shoreway to finish my commute to downtown.
Naturally traffic was all backed up on the east shoreway.  And right by that plant with the water intakes -- FISHKILL.  Oh, the smell.  And me, crawling along in traffic with the top down.  Ohhhhhhhh.  Steaming rotten fish.  And there were people standing over there fishing!  How can they stand it?  Even the taste of strong coffee (with any Dairyman's dairy in it) could not take the stench out of my nose.
Scoreboard: Saw Mark and Pat: 2 points each.  Dairyman's truck driver: -2 points.  Fishkill: -3.  Oh, add that Gina called me while on MLK, so 2 points for that. 

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Ohio Rushtour Weekend

I cannot begin to write it all out just now. But having my cousin Brent out to see three Rush shows over four days all over Ohio was a wonderful time. Gina went to her first Rush show as well, and she wrote about it on her blog. I took a lot of pictures of the weekend festivities. All the fine folks who post at were out in force, with the largest turnout being for the Cincinnati show, being it was on a Saturday night of a holiday weekend.

The band still has it. I'm still not fond of much of their new album, but the new songs do sound good live. And the funny thing is, seeing three shows is really not three times as good as seeing one show. But what made it so much fun was meeting up with all sorts of friends we've made over the years at all the gigs. I wouldn't have travelled all the way to Cinci to see Rush two days after seeing them in Cleveland if I wasn't doing it with a group of people I wanted to hang out with.

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Tuesday Talkback

The moaners are moaning about poop, and I'm talking back.

“The malignant person last Sunday who let their large dog defecate under the picnic tent at the new West Creek Reserve Metroparks in Parma. You should be banned from this park and you are a total slime ball.” — Parma

I've never owned a dog, let alone a large one. And if a dog is not well trained, I don't know how much control one has over where the dog goes to do his business, but then the blame does not fall on the dog. It isn't clear to me whether this dog was leashed and was taking a dump while its owner stood next to it, or if this dog was just running free and chose the tent on its own. Either way, large dogs make large poops and if left under a picnic tent, yeah, that's pretty revolting. But the above moan is not the one that took my breath away...

“Good grief. Give me a break. What is the matter with these mothers not wanting to use a diaper on their baby? Where do they think they are living, in a Third World country? Taking them out, letting them go on a tree lawn or by a tree. What are they gonna do, carry a pooper scooper?” — Cleveland

I've read this one over and over, and I wonder if it is for real. And if it is, I then find myself wondering if people like this really live in the same world as me. I have never had to take care of either a large dog or a baby -- but I cannot imagine letting a baby go around without a diaper. I don't want to imagine the state of a house that has a diaperless baby soiling whatever it is lying or sitting on. Moreover, are these mothers really letting their babies poop outside? I'm at a loss -- does anyone know what this person is talking about? Is there some sort of movement that thinks that diapers are somehow harmful for the kid and it is better to let them poop under a tree? And if there is, does this moaner live next door to one of these mothers? And does the baby scratch at the door to be let out? Is this a situation where a mother is so poor she can't afford diapers?

OK, I found this website -- and they don't seem crazy, just very optimistic. I used to think I could potty train my cat too. But I don't see anything about babies going in the treelawn.