Be sure to visit the official website of The Law Office of Michael Dylan Brennan, LLC

  • Take me there NOW
  • LEGAL: All Original Material (c)2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 Michael Dylan Brennan and The Audient Files, with no claim to any original works borrowed pursuant to and consistent with the Fair Use Doctrine, 17 U.S.C. 107.

    Add to Technorati Favorites

    Tuesday, June 12, 2007

    Tuesday Talkback

    The online edition has FOUR PAGES of moans.

    Gina suggested to me yesterday that these moans can't be for real, and that they must be made up. I know they are real to some degree (or at least were at one time), because back in 2001 they ran one of mine. Yes, I actually phoned in a moan, and they printed it.

    My moan was about people who don't know how to ride an escalator. I used to live at Shaker Square and I would take the rapid to work every day. Once I got to Terminal Tower, if I didn't run right out of the train, I'd get stuck behind all these idiots on the Tower City escalator who don't know or don't care that when you ride an escalator, you should stand to the right to allow people to walk to the left. And it doesn't just happen there. It happens at the airport too, where people who travel ought to know better.

    Heck, it happened to me at Target just the other day. I'm trying to round up the last of my items and these two able bodied young women are riding the escalator side by side instead of standing right. This isn't Geauga Lake, people. It isn't a thrill ride. It is just a means to an end, a conduit.

    In other cities, larger cities, east coast cities, people get this. The ones that don't are tourists or idiots. And when I lived in DC, and people did this on the Metro escalators, I would take a tone with them like the other locals. "Excuse me! Stand right! Excuse you! Fucking tourist."

    And maybe they learned from the experience, or maybe they didn't get it. Maybe they didn't understand why people kept yelling at them. Even when I yelled, I don't claim that I was trying to reason with them or educate them in the traditional way. I was just trying to get them to move over, and it worked every time.

    But looking at some of this week's moans -- some of them aren't even that coherent.

    "Can we do something about the idiots that sit at ballgames with cell phones in their hand, waving at people all the time? I think they should throw them out for causing interference." - Eastlake

    I think of interference as doing something to affect the game -- such as throwing your cell phone at someone on the field of play. But somehow, someone talking on the phone and waiving at someone else several sections over somehow ruins this guy's ability to enjoy a baseball game. You know what this guy should do? Hold his breath, lest he breathe in the air exhaled by other men.

    This is priceless:

    "To the North Olmsted moaner who referred to the smoking ban as reminiscent of Nazi Germany: The smoking ban is actually democracy in its purest form; the people given the right to vote on something they want. I don't think the people of Nazi Germany were given that opportunity; so now who is the moron? - Parma Heights

    You are the moron, Parma Heights. The German people elected the Nazis to the Reichstag. Hitler, as chancellor, invoked Article 48 of the Weimar constitution to suspend civil rights after the fire at the Reichstag, and he ruled by decree. Yes, this summary leaves out the passage of the Enabling Act, etc. but you get my point: The people elected the Nazis to the German parliament, and the Nazis used the color of law and democracy to pass anti-democratic measures democratically and subvert the democracy.

    "Shame, shame, shame on Orrville police. My grandson and I were belted in and were pulled over for a check. I get a ticket because they changed the rules. You have to be 4 years old to sit in a booster seat. Scared the heck out of my grandson and he saw his grandfather cry, and I got a ticket to boot." - Seville

    This is another one of those moans that is borderline incoherent. You have to be four years old to sit in a booster seat? What, was the kid 15 and sitting in a booster seat? Or do you actually mean that the kid should have been seated in a booster seat but wasn't? In which case, how is it the policeman's fault -- that he enforced the law? And how did he make you cry? So you are some wussy crybaby grandpa who doesn't follow the law, and this is the Orrville's police's fault. Fine lesson you've taught your grandson there. Idiot.

    "It is just a shame that some of our great athletes in the city cannot set an example by marrying the girls they get pregnant." - Rocky River

    So LeBron is having a second baby with his girlfriend. The same girlfriend who is the mama of his first baby. And so this moaner is complaining that LeBron should marry his baby mama. I say, rise up go LeBron. You are 22, you have more money than most people will make in a lifetime, and as long as you take provide for your babies, why risk your fortune on a marriage that may well not work out? This is just one more reason why this kid is smart. As for whether he is setting an example, I say yes, he is, and good for him. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to get married. If you want to be married, then get married. If you don't, then don't.

    Labels:

    Comments on "Tuesday Talkback"

     

    Blogger anne said ... (7:53 AM, June 12, 2007) : 

    I am only going to say one thing, b/c in general I agree with everything you said.

    But I think you are working too hard b/c only an overworked lawyer would write "waived" when he meant "waved". hahahaha!

     

    Blogger Mr. Bebout said ... (8:44 AM, June 12, 2007) : 

    Has anyone asked Lebron paramour her feelings on marriage? Perhaps he has proposed and she turns him down. She may have something on the sly or maybe he gets strange when out of town as is common place for pro sports figures.

    Also, I think that maybe the crybaby grandpa might have had the kid in a boooster but he was supposed to tbe in a 5 point car seat.

     

    Blogger Gina Ventre said ... (8:52 AM, June 12, 2007) : 

    I think people call in moans as a joke. I started thinking that with the repetitive moans about women wearing hose.

    I remember yelling at people on the DC metro about standing to the right on the escalators.

     

    Blogger MrsTito said ... (10:17 AM, June 12, 2007) : 

    Carseats tells you what the specs are right on the side of them. Emily is 3 and sits in a high backed booster because it says 40 lbs and 40 inches - both requirements that she meets. And, yes, a child has to remain in a booster seat of some kind until they are 4 years old - although most recommend 8 years or 80 pounds. Seatbelts are made for adults, not children. Seriously, who thinks it ok to belt in a 3 year old? And let them drive with Grandpa who cries?

     

    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:19 AM, June 12, 2007) : 

    I believe the moans are real. Have you 'communicated' with a typical Clevelander recently? Incoherence is only one of the many problems plaguing communication in this area. In my experience, people have a really hard time making a clear point. The emotion, poor grammar, and spelling obscure the message.
    -Noelle

     

    Blogger James said ... (10:36 AM, June 12, 2007) : 

    I agree with the escalator jive. When I am on the subway at Lexington Avenue transferring from the V to the 4, 5 or 6, everything runs smoothly. You have 2 escalators going up and one set of stairs to walk. There are over 50 stairs to walk if you want. Everyone who takes the escalators stand on the right and walk on the left. If they do not walk on the left people kindly tell them to please move aside or walk. It works great.

    Here, you get on those people movers at the airport going from the C to D concourse and people stand there talking wondering why people are giving them looks. Then they get to the escalators and wonder why when they are standing on the left people say "excuse me."

    I think you have to chalk it up to their inability to think of anyone else other than themselves.

     

    Blogger Kristen said ... (2:36 PM, June 12, 2007) : 

    I'm sorry, while I agree that people should know better than to stand all over the escalator, and I've gotten pissy when I'm trying to run down it to catch the train, the escalators in my mind are for those who can't or choose not to walk the stairs. If you're in that big of a hurry, take the stairs. I'm much more an elevator ettiquette person, especially when you have no choice but to talk the elevator.

     

    Blogger Christine said ... (7:43 AM, June 13, 2007) : 

    about the escalator thing... people in nyc "get" the right/left thing down in the subway, but NOT at the manhattan mall (which is where i'm usually rushing to hungrily at lunch, and which bears a striking resemblance to tower city...hmmm...) something about being dazed by all that retail goodness? i dunno.

     

    Blogger Kate Anne said ... (7:43 AM, June 15, 2007) : 

    "Excuse me: Left side walks." Most people are pretty nice about moving -- and one wonders if they'll remember it at the next escalator. In London it impressed me that they had actual signs directing this practice.

    As for the Hitler taking over Germany after the bombing of the Reichstag. what about Bush's edict that he can do similarly when another 9-11 or Katerina event occurs? See WhiteHouse.gov. And the not so Supreme Court (se)elected him! ARGH!

     

    post a comment