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    Monday, May 14, 2007

    Grocery Store Musings

    I was at Heinen's on Green Road on Saturday morning.  I was on a mission: frosted mini-wheats, blueberries, and a Plain Dealer.  Whole Foods does not carry the PD, and I wanted either Kellogs or Post frosted minis so, no Whole Foods this trip.  Armed with but a humble hand basket at the store, I go through several packs of berries before I choose what appears to be the nicest one.  Then I head for the cereal aisle.
    There was this old woman slowly pushing her cart -- exactly down the middle of the aisle.  I tried to scan the cereal on both sides of the aisle to see where the mini-wheats might be.  There appeared to be healthy cereal on the far end of the aisle, on both sides.  I walk briefly behind the old woman, who, if she moved any slower, she would have stopped altogether.  Finally, I say excuse me, as I pass her to the left. 
    Then she moved very quickly to jam her cart right in front of me!  I turned and looked at her and probably gave her my WTF face.  She started scolding me about how rude I was for walking past her in the aisle.  I walked up to the mini-wheats and took a box.  I turned back at her and said that I meant no offense, and that I was sorry if she was offended.  She continued on about how offended she was, as I look over the other varieties of mini-wheats to see if there isn't another box I might rather try.  I turn again, and look at her and tell her, once again that I meant no offense, and that I was sorry. 
    Still she would not let up.  Finally, I looked her in the eye and said, "How did you manage to grow so old, being so sensitive?"
    She shut up. 
    Satsified with my cereal selection, I announced that I would now be walking away.  I never even got into how she was the one being rude for walking down the middle of the aisle instead of picking a side. 
    As I drove home, I thought about all the other things I could have said, even nastier things.  Then I wondered about how sad her existence must be if our exchange is what passes as human interaction in her life.  But mostly, I thought about how her grandchildren ought to put her in a home for Mother's Day.
    * * *
    The Tops at Severance became a Dave's.  I haven't been over there since it happened, but I heard it is dirty and pretty poor all around.
    The Giant Eagle on Cedar Hill is now becoming a Dave's.  Does this mean the neighborhood there has officially turned?  That Cedar-Fairmount is now too urban and inner city (or whatever) to have a Giant Eagle -- that it has to be Dave's now?  I have to say, that Giant Eagle is in such a small space, that it often didn't have even some of the advertised sale items.  But somehow, by becoming a Dave's, it seems like a step down.  I've been to Dave's on Payne, and in Ohio City, and at Shaker Square, and while they are all serviceable, they are hardly my idea of great shopping.  
    I have Whole Foods practically in my front yard.  But can we keep it?  Will it succeed?  If it doesn't, does that mean my neighborhood is going downhill?  We had a Tops, and that sits empty now.  How about that the KFC near me isn't actually a KFC but a "W Wingworks" or whatever they call that thing with the wings and the ribs and stuff -- that has the Colonel's image on it, but doesn't say KFC on the sign?  How about my neighbors who think they live on dandelion farms, spreading their nasty seed all over my formerly weed-free lawn?  Or maybe I'm driving down property values when I leave an old vacuum cleaner on the treelawn, hoping someone will take it, and no one does (though they took the old grill and the old rugs I put out with it just fine) and sits on my treelawn for 3 or 4 days before I finally return it to my garage to bag and dispose of on garage day. 

    Comments on "Grocery Store Musings"


    Blogger Gina Ventre said ... (4:07 PM, May 14, 2007) : 

    That's where the Hoover went. I thought someone had finally taken it away, along with that rug, one of 2 rugs that you were mourning last week.

    There are mad dandelions in the treelawn.


    Blogger Audient said ... (4:28 PM, May 14, 2007) : 

    I got rid of three rugs. There is still one more in garage that I didn't look at. Depending on its condition, it may be going out to the treelawn as well.

    The Hoover is back in the garage, to be put out on trash day. If anyone wanted it, they could have had it by now.

    Those dandelions are disgusting. they must go.


    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:00 PM, May 14, 2007) : 

    I AM farming dandelions in Wickliffe, thank you very much. Have a kid - that's what I did. I send her out in the front yard and she picks 'em all for me. Of course, then they're all in my house, in various states of decay. Sigh. And LOVE the grocery store anecdote - because you're probably one of the most polite people I know. Can't imagine some old fart finding YOU rude.......

    Chris your former secretary (who really should get a blogger account someday)........


    Blogger James said ... (9:17 AM, May 15, 2007) : 

    Wait. YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST POLITE PEOPLE? Come on...that was sarcasm? are the best, but one of the most polite people I know would not be entirely true.

    Maybe one of the top 10 polite people I know.


    Blogger Kristen said ... (12:22 PM, May 15, 2007) : 

    Sorry Audient, you have many amazing qualities and while I wouldn't call you impolite, you're too classy for that, you can be a abrasive to strangers when you're ire is up. you're the only person I know who is more in your face than myself when something irritates them. Though I've never known you to scream at children at a movie, so you'll have to catch up with me there.


    Blogger Audient said ... (12:49 PM, May 15, 2007) : 

    who knows me? Kristen knows me.


    Blogger Tom said ... (4:57 PM, May 17, 2007) : 

    Good for you Michael. Sometimes those old bags need to be knocked down a few notches. I hope she tries to ram her cart in front of somebody else and has a stroke that leads to a hip fracture.


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