They moan, I talk back -- you know the drill.
"To those dinosaurs who still make fun of people with cell phones. Good luck in trying to find a public telephone, let alone having change. Wake up and join the revolution that's called progress." - Brooklyn
I can hardly imagine using a payphone anymore, except to call my bookie, my dealer, and my call girl. But seriously, some people whine about other people using telephones in restaurants like this is something new. I seem to remember old movies and TV shows where a character would be sitting in a restaurant, and the waiter would inform the person at the table that he had a call and then bring the phone on a tray to the table. And then he'd take the call, right there at the table. I wish I could remember the name of a movie where that happened. Does anybody else remember this? But did this actually happen in real life too? Or was this just a bit of business that screenwriters made up? I don't know. Growing up, our idea of fine dining was riding into town to go Ponderosa. They didn't bring you anything there. The steaks would magically appear at the table while you were lining up at the buffet.
"Why do so many people feel it's necessary to apply their brakes when approaching a green light?" - Concord Township
That is an excellent question, and I have the answer. They're hoping to slow you down just enough so that when the light changes you have to stop for it (and thus, get off their ass.) Seriously, I apply the brakes as I approach a green light -- anywhere there is a speed camera in our fair city.
"Why don't they have beeping alarms on all cars when they back up? With all the vans and SUVs, you can't see to back out of parking spots." - Wickliffe
Having a back-up alarm is not a license to back up blindly. But I feel your pain. I've been parked by a large SUV and not been able to see to back up because it is blocking my view. Here is my suggestion: break the windows on the SUV. It'll be easier to see through then. Be sure to urinate all over the seats so they know it wasn't an accident. And if you want a back-up alarm -- they sell those as an after-market add on. Perhaps you'd like a semi horn too for your Kia.
"Ladies who go to have manicures and pedicures and are on their cell phones or headsets reprimanding their entire family, etc. We go there to have a relaxing day, and we have to listen to them crabbin'." - Westlake
Man, I wish I had your freetime and your problems -- that I can go spend the day having someone do my nails and then complain about other people complaining. Try going to a salon that bars cell phones. Or better yet, take a bath at home and do your own nails.
"The Cleveland Clinic is a non profit? I just got billed $64,000 for a one-day heart procedure." - Brecksville
Next time, die. It's cheaper. Your kids will thank you.
"Why do doctors schedule six to seven patients an hour and then give you six to seven minutes? This is an assembly line, and it's very sad some of us cannot get personal physician service." - Seven Hills
If you want that kind of attention, may I suggest a manicure? C'mon, what do you expect from a doctor? That the two of you are going to walk a quick nine holes before you show him your rash?
"My gripe is with the Federal Building and Justice Center screeners. When you first walk in, they have attitudes and a chip on their shoulders. This is supposed to be a customer service position. It's Homeland Security. I want a little bit better customer service." - Cleveland
Uhhh, this is making my head hurt. (deep breath). OK. You got it half right. They are SECURITY. They are not there to disarm you with their charm. They are they to stomp the snot out any piece of subhuman filth that comes into the building with a weapon (or worse.) Nobody wants Guy Smiley guarding the door. Nobody with any sense, anyway.
"How many times in one hour do we have to hear the commercial 'Do you know how old I am?' It's ridiculous." - Parma
Change the damn channel. Who watches commercials anymore? Saddle up your steed, ride into town to the telegraph office and order thee a TiVo.
"To the person who 'stole' or 'found' my credit cards and had a field day shopping, I would like to say, 'Only the fires of hell burn long and hot.' " - Bay Village
Oh, sure. The lengths you will go to convince your wife that the $1000 in charges at Christie's Cabaret aren't yours.
"We get it: WTAM, you're 1100; WTAM, you're 1100; WTAM, you're 1100. Stop it already." - Avon
Station Indentification. They have to do it. I am sure "The Big One" appreciates the free advertizing you gave them today in the paper. 'Scuse me now while me and Marty Allen go out and get some Mr. Chicken.
"To all of you idiot tailgating drivers out there: You are a menace on the road and you'll pay, big time, one of these days when your impatience and stupidity overcome you." - Olmsted Falls
Let me guess, you drive a Buick?
"It took two weeks to determine the blood alcohol of the Eastlake lieutenant involved in an accident, but it only takes one day to determine a citizen's level of intoxication." - No City
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the good lieutenant wasn't actually in his car when the accident occurred? I'll tell you, nothing kills a good buzz like getting hit by a car while taking a leak on the side of the road.
Labels: Tuesday Talkback