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    Tuesday, December 12, 2006

    Tuesday Talkback

    Monday Moaners on an open fire, Tuesday Talkback nipping at your nose.

    "The lazy, oblivious idiots with those rusted, corroded license plates and filthy tinted and smoked plastic plate covers. Where are the police? - Medina

    I think Ohio is the only state that ever offered license plates that came pre-rusted. As for smoked plastic plate covers, if that is enough to obscure one's license plates from those awful red light cameras, then someone get me one for Christmas, please.

    "We vote on cigarettes and casinos, yet not on gun-control issues. Do the poorly educated and self-serving politicians think they know better than the general public?" - Olmsted Falls

    Ohhhhhh, where to begin. First of all, the politicians don't put those issues on the ballot. Organized members of your "general public" circulate petitions, sign them, and then those issues get on the ballot. And while on other days I might try to defend politicians, and say they aren't all "poorly educated" and "self-serving," that nimrod numbnut Dennis Kucinich just announced he is running for president again. And while I won't pick on the ignorant by calling Dennis "poorly educated," I will call him "self-serving." Oh, and nimrod numbnut.

    "Why can't dentists and doctors have later hours or weekend hours? My spouse is an invalid and cannot get to any of the appointments without my help. We are only in our 40s and have to work. Please somebody help us." - Olmsted Falls

    Wait... "my spouse is an invalid...we...have to work." Where, pray tell, does your invalid spouse work? Don't tell us he's running for president again, Elizabeth.

    "Recently I gave a donation to Purple Heart with various boxes of clothes and nice merchandise, and no receipt was left. I called twice with no response. It would be nice if they at least acknowledged my gifts to them." - Westlake

    Now I know why I hung up the phone on them yesterday. No receipt? How are you supposed to claim your donation of used underwear on your taxes without a receipt?

    "Shame on the city of Cleveland. They fell all over themselves honoring Gerald Levert, but totally ignored the passing of two very good men - Robert Lockwood Jr. and Casey Coleman. Unbelievable. My tax money at work." - Cleveland

    It seems like Coleman was recognized, but maybe that's because I did listen to WTAM's coverage of their fallen colleague. I don't want to take anything away from Levert, but ancient blueman Lockwood did deserve a little more recognition.

    "My husband drives a Jeep and the headlights sit a little higher and are brighter than people are used to. Now that it gets dark so early, it seems several people flash their lights as if to say our brights are on. We usually flash back to show that our brights are not on. Come on people, try to get used to it. There's a lot of Jeeps on the road." - Brunswick

    When your Jeep is coming at us from the other way, we don't see a Jeep. All we see is your fucking headlights. Not only are there a lot of Jeeps on the road, but there are a lot of assholes on the road too, and at least one of them drives a Jeep and lives with his whiny biotch of a wife in Brunswick. You know what I do to assholes who have high mounted headlights and then shine them even brighter on me? I turn on my high beams and leave them on. Whiny little knee-biting wife of a Jeep-driving asshole, you.

    "I hope they find people who make false allegations regarding someone smoking in their establishment." - Middleburg Heights

    Find? Or fine? Get the marbles out of your mouth before you moan into the phone.

    "Would you believe, for the taxes we pay for the city of Seven Hills, we receive only one leaf pickup for the entire year. Expect very little city service, so when you get it, you will not be disappointed." - Seven Hills

    You should invite Dennis to your city -- once he start huffing, he'll blow those leaves all the way to Parma.

    "I can't believe how these kids are pampered with the weather. When I was in school, we had to plow through the snow no matter what. We didn't have TV stations with school closings every time there was an inch or two of snow." - Brook Park

    What the hell do you care, old man? Do you resent that someone might have it better than you today? Guess what, the kids don't catch polio anymore either, the pampered little bastards.

    "Well, winter is upon us again and the weatherman's famous two words are with us again. 'Lake effect, lake effect, lake effect.' " - Concord Township

    And the other famous two words, apparently: "School's closed, school's closed, school's closed."

    "Regarding the article about the turnover rate in the Cleveland schools: There is not enough money in the world to tolerate incorrigible students permitted to terrorize the schools. The best teachers in the country couldn't teach those who don't want to learn." - Cleveland

    So your point would be, what? A few of the kids don't want to learn. Fine, to hell with them. And what about the rest? You want to give up on all of them, just because a few of them are so hopeless? I hope you don't vote.

    "Another day, another snow storm. Even after the article The Plain Dealer wrote regarding ODOT being surprised, it looks like they got surprised again. How many more times this season are they going to get surprised, even when the forecast is for snow?" - Solon

    You know what? ODOT did drop the ball. But as for everyone else that morning, you'd have thought that no one had ever driven in snow before. That's not ODOT's fault. And the idiots on the road weren't all Buick drivers or Jeep-driving assholes from Brunswick. They weren't all Cleveland schools student-delinquents or Dennis Kucinich. They were ordinary members of the general public, the same people who banned gay marriage one year and then public smoking the next. The same people who call into radio shows and think they know better how to make the Browns a winner. The same people who send you email forwards about how much Jesus loves you and if you forward this email to 15 people you'll get a gift certificate to Applebees, and if you ignore this email your sister will catch scabies. The same people who get all excited that Britney Spears finally flashed her tired and tornup tuna taco to the world from the back door of a limo. We are a decadent and incompetent people who can't do dick anymore, unless we are talking actual dick. We can't clean up after a hurricane, we can't execute a fucking war, and we can't even remember to put on our panties before leaving the house. So why are you so surprised that ODOT couldn't remove the snow from the roads as fast as it was falling? Shit, I'm so busy being offended by existence the red-light cameras, I haven't even take then time to marvel that the pitiful things actually work. Oh, but there is hope! Perhaps they will freeze up and die once the temperature drops below 10 degrees. Oh, that would be sweet.


    Comments on "Tuesday Talkback"


    Blogger MrsTito said ... (9:34 AM, December 12, 2006) : 

    "The same people who get all excited that Britney Spears finally flashed her tired and tornup tuna taco to the world from the back door of a limo"

    I want to laugh and throw up all at the same time!


    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:32 AM, December 12, 2006) : 

    "at least one of them drives a Jeep and lives with his whiny biotch of a wife in Brunswick."

    And you know that woman wears Juicy track suits and carries a faux Prada bag while driving her sniveling kids to school, at least when there are no snow days.

    Just think how much fun it will be to trash Dennis during the primaries again.


    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (11:15 AM, December 13, 2006) : 

    You seem really angry in this one. Is it because no one really knows you?


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