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    Monday, September 25, 2006

    I Have Waited My Whole Life for This Moment

    Today was like any other Monday -- till I got home and opened up my mailbox...

    I looked at the return address and did a double-take...

    Then I flipped it over...

    I have been chosen... to be a Nielsen family! They want to know what I watch on TV! For one week, what my set is tuned to will affect EVERYTHING, to what shows are hits, to what shows get saved, to what shows gets the ax!

    When I was child, I cried when they canceled my favorite shows, when they dropped such fine programming as Tales of the Gold Monkey, The Quest, and The Greatest American Hero. I'd ask my mom, why did they take away my favorite show, and she'd say, it just didn't get the ratings. Who decides these ratings, I asked then?

    Now you know the answer: I do, bitches!

    Studio 60, your hit status is assured. Mad Money, welcome to prime time!

    Watch for a big jump in the ratings of NFL Football and Star Trek reruns.

    Reality TV? I watch C-SPAN's Washington Journal -- there's your reality TV!

    A year from now, all TV programming will consist of Aaron Sorkin-style panning-down-the-hallway camera shots of Jim Cramer yelling "Boo-yah' at grunting steroid-raging jocks facing off against Klingons and the Borg -- all while unscreened cranks from across the nation phone in to complain about godless liberals and the vast right wing conspiracy. That, and The Colbert Report.

    Oh, if only they'd have picked me last year, so I could have saved Arrested Development. Posted by Picasa

    Comments on "I Have Waited My Whole Life for This Moment"


    Blogger Kristen said ... (9:40 AM, September 26, 2006) : 

    The envy, the envy!


    Anonymous Kathleen said ... (10:04 AM, September 26, 2006) : 

    I have never been so jealous of a single person before.


    Blogger asdfsdf said ... (10:15 AM, September 26, 2006) : 

    I'm SO jealous!!! Please, take your duties seriously and make us all proud!!


    Blogger Gina Ventre said ... (10:24 AM, September 26, 2006) : 

    I wish I had a picture of Kristen's face when you told her.

    Law & Order, Without a Trace, and Studio 60 (in case I like it).

    I haven't gotten a chance to watch any of these yet this season but I still love them.


    Blogger Gina Ventre said ... (10:26 AM, September 26, 2006) : 

    And when I say these, I mean Law & Order and Without a Trace.

    I also say that I don't proofread good.


    Blogger Brian Kornell said ... (10:36 AM, September 26, 2006) : 

    I'm soooooo jealous! I wish we would be picked, so that we could ensure that Heroes, Jericho and How I Met Your Mother stay on the air.


    Blogger anne said ... (3:00 PM, September 26, 2006) : 

    Oh yeah, How I Met Your Mother! Save that show! I always wanted to be a Nielsen rater, I'm so jealous. Is there a phone number you can call to get on their list?


    Blogger melcarrel said ... (10:36 PM, September 26, 2006) : 

    why isn't there anything from food network in your list? Come on, food is everything! My pick from food network: "Ham on the Street" and "Good Eats".

    I'd do it for you...


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